Sending a drunk text to an ex, hoping to hook up, often sounds like the perfect idea in the moment, while to others, it might sound dangerously messy. For most people, the familiarity of sex with your ex is tempting; however, the emotional aftermath often surprises people more than the act itself. Before you dive back into old territory, we recommend that you keep reading.
Why Sex With your Ex Feels So Intense
Hooking up with an ex taps into powerful emotional memories, especially if the relationship dates back to your formative years. Studies show that emotional memories peak around age 18, meaning a first love or major relationship leaves a deep imprint. Combine that with oxytocin—the “bonding hormone” released during sex—and even a casual encounter can feel far weightier than you anticipated.
The brain doesn’t always separate physical pleasure from emotional attachment neatly. That surge of feel-good chemicals can reignite feelings you thought were buried, making it harder to keep things casual. Often, it’s not just the sex that pulls people back, but the nostalgia and familiarity that come with it.
The Real Risks Behind Rekindling Old Flames and having sex with your ex
Revisiting intimacy with an ex isn’t always the sexy, empowering experience you might hope for. In fact, it often complicates things in ways you didn’t expect. The relationship ended for a reason, and reopening those wounds can hurt yourself in the long run. We’ve listed some of the reasons that could affect you!
Emotional Whiplash Is Real
One moment you’re feeling on top of the world; the next you’re wondering why the relationship ended—or why you’re not getting the response you secretly hoped for. Sex reawakens emotional ties, and when expectations aren’t aligned, it can lead to confusion, regret, and even heartache.
The Odds of Satisfaction Are Lower Than You Think
While it’s true that sex can lift your mood, research shows that satisfaction levels in casual encounters—especially with friends or exes—are often disappointingly low. The comfort of familiarity doesn’t always translate into passionate, fulfilling sex. In addition, the emotional baggage reappears mid-hookup, it can leave both partners feeling worse.
Sex with your Ex Can Delay True Healing
Jumping back into bed with someone you’ve broken up with might temporarily ease loneliness or longing. However, it often postpones real emotional closure. Repeated hookups with an ex can keep you emotionally tethered. This will make it harder to move forward and open yourself to new, healthier connections.
